The twins agreed to join only if Tamaki could guess which twin is which. Although Tamaki failed many times, he eventually guessed it; the twins gave in and decided to try the Host Club. The club opened them up to new experiences, including the development of a deep bond with Tamaki. Describing the world as "us" and "them," the twins were distrustful and unkind to others. Additionally, because their parents were often away, they were deeply dependent on each other; joining the club and meeting Haruhi helped them become more independent.
The Hitachiin twins use acts of "forbidden brotherly love" with highly suggestive themes of incestuous boy love as their main draw in the Host Club. They are both considered the mischievous, tricky, little devil types in the club. They have their differences: Kaoru is nicer, more mature and considerate to the thoughts of others, while Hikaru is more immature even though he is the older twin. Their different personalities are best shown when they are separated, and they also speak a little differently.
Hikaru has a deeper voice and tends to speak first, while Kaoru has a higher voice and tends to speak second. It really is a good thing these two both seek independence as the manga goes on, as their complete co-dependency lasting forever would have been utter chaos.
Kaoru is typically the more independent of the two twins, though overall is still far too dependent overall for either of their well-beings. While it's Hikaru who ends up taking the first step towards their independence by dying his hair darker to differentiate the two, Kaoru takes a similar stride of his own by allowing his hair to finally grow out a bit upon entering college, whereas his brother keeps their original style.
Overall, it's great to see them finding ways that they're comfortable with to differentiate themselves. Each Host in the club has a rose color assigned with them, typically signifying something about their character that's deeper than surface-level, which remains true for Kaoru, whose rose color is orange. In Japanese culture, this signifies happiness, which fits the more optimistic twin of the two rather well. The meaning in Western culture, being romantic energy and enthusiasm, is true for the younger twin as well, likely referring to how enthusiastically he carries out his duties as a host.
Kaoru's often stated to be the more mature twin of the two, possessing much more emotional maturity than his older brother, though some fans often wonder just how he managed to develop such good observational skills if the two never interacted with anyone else.
The answer lies in Hikaru himself, as the younger brother was often the quieter of the two, and spent a great deal of time observing his brother and figuring out his behaviors. In the manga, Kaoru ends up taking Haruhi out on a date and kissing her cheek, but he also outright admits to her that he isn't going to be trying to pursue her any further for his brother's sake.
He states that he believes that Haruhi is the perfect person to help Hikaru learn how to grow without being dependent on Kaoru, and is also too concerned with a romantic relationship with Haruhi damaging the familial bond he has with his older brother.
This shows how genuinely caring Kaoru is, and how much he values his brother while being less dependent. In the anime, both Hikaru and Kaoru refer to Tamaki as the Boss, and typically refrain from using anything else, but in the manga this aspect is a little different when it comes to Kaoru. During the night, the alarm sounds and the twins discover their playmate heading down a ladder with the family's riches. She has broken open their piggy bank to access the slip on which the combination is written and broken her promise to them, as well.
Disappointed, they ask why and she replies that she simply can not tell them apart and perhaps no one ever will, implying that unless a person can identify them as unique individuals, that person is untrustworthy. This comment becomes a self-fulfilling mantra for them, keeping them isolated and stunted in social skills. Because of their long-standing co-dependency , the twins lack the ability to interact properly with others. During grade school, this manifests itself in their refusal to interact with anyone unless that person can tell the two apart; however, no one can.
Their disappointment and hurt is kept inside, furthering their isolation and perverting their psyches until Tamaki Suoh invites them to join the Host Club. Though uninterested, they ask him to play their who-is-who game to amuse themselves; Tamaki accepts on the condition that if he wins, they must join his club. Though he initially loses and is ridiculed by the twins who have discovered that he is the illegitimate son of Ouran's Chairman of the Board, Tamaki persists.
He wins with intuition , which the twins refute; but his willingness to accept them as they are, their faults as admissible as their assets, impress them as nothing had since the day their maid declared their symmetry something to be feared and they agree to give the Host Club a chance.
The Hitachiin family cannot be described as a cohesive family unit, as they do not spend much time together. Both Hikaru and Kaoru often mention that their parents work a lot and, as a result, cannot be there for them.
This leads them to rely and depend only each other, hence their somewhat self-isolating tendencies. The younger of the twins and the more moderate of the two, Kaoru willingly helps Hikaru understand himself and others better. Although the two care for and respect Haruhi as she was the first one to truly enter their world , they 'lose' her to Tamaki. Despite his frequent innuendos and teasing, Hikaru has been shown to be very protective of his younger twin.
Before the Hitachiin twins joined the Host Club, both Hikaru and Kaoru are socially awkward and inseparable, but gradually, they begin to open up to people. Although their brotherly bond is strong in both the manga and anime series, both storylines end up with the twins seeking greater independence for themselves. Though Kaoru is the one to initiate their independence, it is Hikaru who validates their independence by dyeing his hair a darker shade of brown so people can easily tell them apart.
Hikaru's mother, Yuzuha Hitachiin, is a famous fashion designer of her own company. Hikaru's savvy fashion sense, appearance and personality come from his mother though he and Kaoru once jokingly mentioned that they fear for their future, due to their inherited shyness from their father. A running gag in the manga is the fact that Yuzuha constantly confuses them.
Tired of correcting her, the twins allow her to call them by either name, even though it is later revealed that she actually can tell them apart, but pretends not to for her own amusement. Hikaru's father, whose name is unknown but who adopts his famous wife's surname, runs a computer software company.
He appears to be a more down-to-earth person than his spouse and sons and is often hidden in the shadows, appearing invisible to everyone else around him including his family ; at one point, Haruhi even mistakes him for Yuzuha's escort. The Hitachiin patriarch is also noted to be one of the few people who can consistently tell the twins apart, even if their backs are turned to him.
Although he does not show his emotions easily, it is evident that he cares much more for his children than he lets on and gives good advice when necessary. Kazuha is Hikaru's grandmother. She is known to be a free-spirit and well-known floral designer who decorates her hair peculiarly with flowers, earning the twins' ridicule. It is later revealed that the twins made up the hairstyle as a prank when they were toddlers. As children, Hikaru and his twin would draw their own floral designs, but upon learning that their grandmother wanted to use the designs on bath tissue, they decide that she is a witch who is incapable of being nice to others.
However, eleven years later, she admits that she kept the drawing and that the twins have great talent. She is noted to travel frequently and rides a motorcycle. The little-seen younger sister of Hikaru, Ageha is a manga-only character. Although the twins dote on her and give her dresses and toys, she is unimpressed by them and frankly rejects their presents to their faces.
Tamaki is one of the first people to actively seek to break through the isolation that he sees in the twins by inviting them to join his newly formed Host Club while the twins are still in middle school, using intution to guess their correct identities and foiling the twins' plans to reject his offer. Though both Hitachiins find him initially annoying and troublesome, they grow to admire Tamaki because of his ability to see them both as unique individuals and an inseparable unit, simultaneously, which he views as a positive.
In fact, it is Tamaki who suggests that they use their identical looks to develop the "Forbidden Brotherly Love" package.
Knowing that Tamaki loves Haruhi, even if he is unaware of it, both twins flirt with her endlessly to prod him into reality or just to get him fired up for their amusement.
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